'The Lucas Cut' and Other Fairy Tales
Written By Mikey Sutton • Editor-in-Chief • Owner
Spoiler warning: Santa Claus doesn't exist.
And neither does The Lucas Cut of The Rise of Skywalker.
And nor will Disney's Star Wars trilogy be erased like yesterday's soap operas on a VHS tape.
For months I have ignored so much of the Star Wars fake news circulating online like bogus COVID-19 memes. But after I debunked the nonexistent Pedro Pascal set scandal, I realized there are a vast number of fans who are truly wondering what is real and what isn't about Star Wars behind the scenes. I can't blame them; the repetition of this misinformation, continually shared through social media, nearly has a Kool-Aid brainwashing effect. You remember Luke Skywalker's blue milk? That's what I imagine it looking like.
The Lucas Cut is a mythological beast that spawned from the reality of The Snyder Cut for the DCEU. But The Snyder Cut had basis in fact: Zack Snyder was directing Justice League before exiting (whether he was forced to do so or not is another matter entirely) and Joss Whedon took over to complete the film. It was plausible from the beginning that there was a version of the movie from Snyder's singular vision. Lucas, on the other hand, had kissed Star Wars goodbye after selling Lucasfilm to Disney in December 2012. Aside doing some consulting with J.J. Abrams on his Star Wars sequels or visiting the set of The Mandalorian, Lucas has has been hands off on Disney's interpretations of his beloved creations.
In The Lucas Cut myth, he apparently climbed down from the mountain and read the Ten Commandments to Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy and Abrams, resulting in a secret half-hour of footage that I assume was placed in an ark and now hidden in a warehouse. That Lucas should now been seen as the franchise's savior is ironic considering a mere two decades ago he was crucified for destroying childhoods with Jar Jar Binks.
The Lucas Cut makes no sense. It is either wishful thinking, that a superior version of The Rise of Skywalker is awaiting release, a special edition which was funded by whom exactly? Why would Disney pay for a Lucas Cut, only to shelve it? Would Lucas? Did Kennedy watch helplessly as Lucas bellowed, "Get off my lawn!"
If that wasn't ridiculous enough, there's the fairy tale of The Rise of Skywalker and its two predecessors being deleted like porn sites on a web browser's cache. Flawed or not, those movies made over a billion each globally and represent Carrie Fisher's final performances on film. It would be deeply offensive to her legacy for Disney to dismiss they never happened, that they would be redone.
Love or loathe them, Disney's Star Wars movies will live longer than the most idiotic of rumors.
(Dedicated to Matt Jarbo of 3 Buck Theater; this one's for you.)